You see it every day and it seems to be happening more and more. I'd like to think I'm one of the few people who have manners and actually care about others.
I speak from experience. This is where it all began for me. Many years ago, when my daughter was in first grade, her school was looking for a parent to be Treasurer of the PTO. I was at the meeting and thought it would be something nice for me to do. After the meeting was over one of my neighbors pulled me aside and said, "Are you nuts?!" I had no idea what she meant at the time. Well, I found out pretty quickly. This is when my eyes were opened.
After I became Treasurer, it all began. Some of the women in the PTO started talking behind my back. Keep in mind, I was a new parent in this school and had never been involved in PTO. The reason I know they were talking behind my back is because they did it right in front of me without realizing. These two women were talking about me and it so happened I was walking right behind them. Unfortunately, my daughter and husband happened to be with me and heard everything they said. The funny thing about this incident was the reaction when these two particular women realized I was walking right behind them. The expressions on their faces were priceless. I thought they would both die of embarrassment. By rights they should have. The most heartbreaking thing for me however was when my child looked up at me with her big brown eyes and said; "Mommy why are they talking like that about you?" I was honest and said the only thing I could at the time and that was "I'm not sure."
They had been talking about something they thought I hadn't been doing, like the previous treasurer. Instead of coming to me and speaking to me about it like adults should, they chose to talk behind my back, and make fun of me. Well, thats fine I'm an adult and I can handle it, but what made me so mad was my child happened to hear also.
People like this are cowardly and gutless. After only one year as treasurer I stepped down. It wasn't just this incident, but one of many. It also just wasn't me; they would talk about other moms behind their backs too. I am just not into talking and gossiping behind people's backs. Mainly because it sets a rotten example for my child, but also because that is just not the kind of person I am.
I thought this kind of stuff just happened with women, but over the years I have come to realize it happens to men too. Maybe not in the same way, but it has manifested in our lives over the last seven months twice.
My husband has been stabbed in the back by men he thought he could trust. The problem is not only did they hurt him, but they hurt me and my daughter in the process. One of the individuals, we had treated exremely nicely. We had him over for dinner many times, and my daughter looked up to him. We treated him like a member of the family, but all he did was use my husband and toss him aside. My husband was hurt, I was hurt and the most heartbreaking thing for me was my daughter was hurt. As a parent, nothing makes you more mad than when your child is hurt.
The strange thing is these people seem to be able to live with themselves without any remorse. They also seem to be able to justify themselves. Well, I guess they think if they convince themselves they were justified everyone else will see it the same way. Well that's just not so. Just ask my daughter.
Well, I guess if you can live with yourself more power to you. I, however, am glad I don't hurt or use people. I happen to be the kind of person who can't live with herself if I hurt or use someone on purpose.
Yes, I'm sure I've hurt people, but it wasn't intentional. If I do hurt someone it bothers me, and yes I am a big enough person to apologize. The one thing I don't do is talk behind people's backs. You know the old saying, "If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all." Why would you want to hurt or use someone intentionally? I can't figure that out.
If you do nothing else this weekend, try to do something nice for someone. Whether it's as simple as letting someone in during heavy traffic or simply holding a door open for someone. That little gesture can make someone's outlook and day just a little happier. Don't we at least owe that to each other? Just show some human kindness; it may have a trickle down effect.
Have a great weekend!
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