At that time no one I knew had ever had a baby born that early. I was scared she would not have a normal life, and I tried to put that thought out of my mind, as much as possible. She was our first and to this day our only child. We were new parents and newly married. When I look back now I wonder how we got through that part of our lives without a nervous breakdown.
As a new mother you look forward to bringing home a healthy baby. My daughter was in the hospital for 2 months prior to coming home. I was at the hospital day and night hoping that her hearing my voice would let her know I was there. My mom was my constant companion at the hospital day after day. My husband had to work all day, but every evening he would be at the hospital with me, even as tired as I'm sure he was. I remember one night after leaving our daughter, I cried from the time we left Beaumont Hospital until we got home. My poor husband just drove and I'm sure didn't know what to do to make me feel better. As a new mother you want your baby home with you, but you have to do what is best for your child, and her coming home was not the answer.
As if you're not going through enough at the time, some people would have to tell you "Oh, your daughter is going to be slow", or "She won't do well in school", or "You have a lot of work cut out for you", or "She will always be sick", etc. What I always remember is what her Primary Nurse, Julia told me, "She will be fine; these kids do fine." That gave me hope and I tried to only focus on that.
I remember one mom in particular saying to me, "I'm so afraid I'm going to get a call in the middle of the night that my son didn't make it." That scared me to hear another mom say what I had thought every now and then, but I wanted to stay positive. I told her everything would be fine. As I looked at these two tiny babies hooked up to machines and wires attached to their little bodies, I'm not sure if I actually believed what I was saying myself.
Nicole was only on oxygen for one day. I came to find out later that her being in a stressful situation had actually helped her, and her lungs developed very rapidly while inside me. The longer she stayed in the hospital the stronger she became. To see this little baby develop outside of the womb was amazing. I can never say enough about the doctors and nurses -- they were wonderful and to this day I am so greatful for them. How do you thank people for keeping your child alive? There are no words.
After 2 months in the hospital the day finally came when we got to bring her home. I remember being happy and scared. Now the day you were waiting for is finally here, but the doctors and nurses don't get to come home with you. To say I was scared was an understatement, but I don't think I let it show. I still didn't know what her outcome would be. Would she be slow? I didn't want to focus on that and I didn't. I was just determined to be the best mom I could be, and to give her lots of love and attention.
An example of a preemie ward; a place like this was our home for two months (April-June 1993)
We started reading to her at a very early age. I remember her sitting in a bouncer reaching for the attached toys at about 3 months old. When I looked at her she seemed to be a normal baby to me. She had these beautiful brown eyes and would look at everything.
Before she was 2 years old she was saying her ABCs. She could also count to 20. I am happy to report that that little baby is 14 years old now. She is healthy, happy and smart as a whip. She just received her progress report and received all A's and a B. She is in 8th grade now and has been on the honor role every time since she began in junior high. She plays the clarinet, and very well I might add. The only thing is she may catch colds and get sick a little more than other kids, but she gets better pretty fast. So we are very thankful for the wonderful people at Beaumont and in God.
If you know anyone with a premature child this should give them hope. Oh yes, and that little boy I mentioned earlier, I saw him in the doctors office when they were about 4 months old and he looked great. I'm sure he is also doing well to this day. Children are amazing and this is proof. When you stay focused and positive anything is possible.
Have a super day!!!!
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